Paris Rhymes With Whack

I should have known Paris was going to suck when this was the first AD I saw.....

It didn't get much better after that. I came to Paris for two reasons:

1. To visit my summer coworker and Paris guide extraordinaire Holly and
2. To see the Eiffel Tower

So based on those two requirements I guess you can say my visit was successful. But other that that I would say that it was a bust.

I have a Bucket list and on it I have visiting the Eiffel Tower, Roman Collesuim and Egyptian Pyramids. So this was stop 1 of 3 while I´m abroad and to be honest it wasn´t all that impressive. I will say that it creeps up on you faster than a Spanish dude on a blonde at the club tho. I got off the metro at the "Eiffle Tower" stop and couldn´t even see it. I looked around, did the whole awkward 360 tourist with a map spin, then just started following the general flow of people. As soon as I passed a building on my right, BOOM, there it was. The place was packed with tourists including this special lady wearing a brown furry Chris Brown hat:

They decided to close the elevator to the top because it was snowing so all I got was a 2nd level view of the surroundings which was still pretty neat. However I would have liked to see the spot where Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker we´re fighting Kenji. After that I went to the Louve Museum which houses the Mona Lisa...but they like to close on tuesdays...yes tuesdays, so I didn´t get to see squat. I jumped on the metro to see Notre Dame next. I got off and saw the Bird Lady from Home Alone 2´s husband in the park:

After all my sight seeing I met up with Holly, for a little night out. We met at the Moulin Rouge which has extremely over priced tickets to see breast-a-ses.

Especially when I went down the street and got my favorite kind of breast-a-ses for 5 euro:


So far this is the best Chicken I have had outside of the US. 2 piece with hot wings was on point and if I ever go back to Paris, the "Chicken Corner" is my number 1 spot. The Crepes were also pretty good.

It was Australian Day at the local Aussie Pub so we got free bottle openers and key chains which was a fun perk to an otherwise disappointing day. My last 3 hours in Paris were far greater than the previous 48 combined so thank you Holly! I´m just chalking the rest of the day up to experience and glad to have seen good people!

Getting to the airport was another fun experience as I unknowling booked at the jenkiest place in rome. The companies over here should really use that old bank commercial with the "It´ll cost ya" line because the charge you for everything. 5€ for an online check in (which they require you to do), 15€ per checked bag, 3€ for a drink, 5€ for a hot dog, etc.

Then they also cut costs anywhere they can. For example let us analyze the following photo:
Most obviosuly, we have to walk to the plane. No big deal in normal conditions, but if it was pouring down rain I woulda been a little pissed. You can also notice the high quality of the boarding sign to Rome Ciampino airport. Finally, the budget minded airport decides garbage cans are too much of an expensise so they hang the bags around to suffice. Maybe I would have a little more positive review of the airline if the wings didn´t shake constantly through the whole flight and the passangers didn´t give the pilot a round of applause for a safe landing. But thats a big maybe...

Sevilla

To start...Sevilla is pretty legit. The bus ride here was done in style on the VIP bus, with outlets and wifi. We got in and were a good distance away luckily...someone in Sevilla came up with this dope rent-a-bike idea:

So 5 euros for the week and we were on our way:


We got to the hostel, unloaded, and went out to explore and eat. Would up at a pizza place that I wasn't to thrilled about, and it turned into an amazing dinner. In the process Alicia went to get money out of the bank and the ATM went all hungry hungry hippo on her card so she was left with only a credit card for the trip.

The next day we went off on our bicicletes (that's spanish for bikes) and Seattle weather decided it wanted to come too. We probably rode around for a good hour in the pouring rain and it was one of the best parts of my day. We finally arrived at the FC Sevilla soccer stadium and mall just as the rain was letting up.

As we walked to the gate we encountered yet another type of Hustler found in Spain....the ticket hustler. This old dude spotted us as we're walking and had a SUPER good deal on tickets. 150 eruo seats for 75! We said no and they immediately dropped to 50 euro...sketch. So while this is all in spanish, and the guy pulls out his tickets and shows what could possibly be real tickets, I'm just sitting back not really trying to drop 50 euro for a ticket. The hustler says u won't get any tickets for 50 so we go up to the window and ask and they give us 5 seats, together for 50 a pop. The hustler is ballsy and pulls us away from the window when we're trying to get our tickets, but we were just trying to get the sure thing. Especially cuz there were another 50 or so people in line but he was only targeting us....sketch ball. We got our tickets and the dude reached for em' trying to show us how we got a bad section or something but we weren't havin it so we bounced and the dude yelled some Spanish insults at me that ironically were the same as on a shirt we found at the mall 20 minutes later:


It means bad boy....I think i was more disappointed in the calibur of insults in Spain rather than offended. The game was legit and our seats had a great view. We moved down at the half and got better seats and Sevilla won so it was pretty legit. My boy Joe yelled at the opposing team in spanish and got an ovation from a bunch of old Spanish dudes, also pretty legit.

Everyone got McDonald's after, but I only had one thing on my mind....Chicken. I had seen a KFC the night before right after we ate at the Pizza spot. I left my crew and ventured out to find it again, luckily my nose lead me straight there. Needless to say the only thing that can make a great day greater is chicken of the fried variety.

This KFC didn't have any popcorn chicken but it was a double decker with a balcony up top and upscale decor. Overall I was satisfied and the original recipe is consistent from country to country.

Sunday was an exploration day and we just cruised through the city catching the sites. Unfortunately I didn't bring my student card so I couldn't get in most places, but still a fun day.
Everyone left around 1 to go back to Granada but my flight for Paris was at 9 am the next day. I wasn't gonna waste money on another night in the hostel so I found an Irish Pup that had the football games on and watched the playoffs until 430 am. Then it was a nice bike ride to the airport where I slept awkwardly across the rows of seats until my boarding time came for Paris!

The club

Spanish/Mexican Bathroom

The DJ setup at the club

"Hair Clipper" - no name needed

So last night was pretty legit, went out with the crew to a Mexican restaurant and basically took it over with American students. There was prolly about 40 of us in the little joint. The place was pretty authentic too as you can see by the picture of their lil bathroom which included a crank sink and can for the bowl.

In preparation for the night, we went out and got some "hair clipper" to get fixed up. They have these little minmarts, mostly run by Chinese, that have literally EVERYTHING you need. Quality it may lack, but if variety is the spice of life these people are on that Wasabi level...even if that is Japanese

After dinner at the mexican place we went out to the hip hop club we frequent ever week. We brought some new amigos out and had a pretty good time. However there are always some interesting creepers in the club. Take the following for example:

Numero Uno: The Sleeper Creeper

This dude was dancing so hard (completely awkward I might add) he put himself right to sleep. He was a drink or two away from a full epileptic seizure so luckily he got his rest before anything major happened.

Numero Dos: The Keeper Creeper

So this dude was the high slach low light of the night. He found himself a nice little latino...but im pretty sure she was hookin and they definitly made two trips into the bathroom together throughout the night. But once he found his victim/service provider he stuck with her all night.

Numero Treis: The Grim Reaper Creeper

So I don't know if you can tell....but this dude is pretty damn old. Beyond the outfit and out of date hairstyle reminecent of my dad's from 85' till 07' (thanks again for cutting it pops, the new look is much improved), he had the dancing confidence of a broadway star with the ability of Barney. At lease he was living out his later years to the fullest so props for that.

Coley-zzie Homemaker

Notice the lack of TP...

Drying clothes in Spain

"The George" Grill

So most of the days here are starting to be the same: Wake up 5 minutes before class, learn for 4 hours, eat, sleep, internet, kick it, sleep. I´m excited to start traveling this weekend and mix things up a little bit. I´m going to Seville this weekend to check out a soccer game, then probably the Canary Islands to get some sun, then maybe Paris or London, still haven´t decided.

Today in class was rather amusing. We have a couple of catz who are pretty interesting. They´re nice people but not very focused on the student part of the whole trip (I guess I could be included in that category). Or maybe they just like to have fun in class. Either way they were getting on this other girls nerves. She´s an older lady who is only learning Spanish to help her kids out who just moved here, so for her its all about the learning not the credit. She always gives them the coldest looks and today they were talking about how they wanted to go play outside with the little kids across the street. The other girl was like hey, you can go play with them, but I´m tryin to learn. Unfortunately they didn´t here. Then they got into an argument about how the Muppets weren´t on Sesame Street and blah blah blah...It was funny to watch tho.

I have to tell you all that I´m becoming a pretty dope chef. I´ve made my third batch of ham and cheese sandwiches on the spanish equivalent to the George Forman and let me tell you, they are beyond delicious. I might step up to the pasta game by the end of the week, but I don´t wanna rush things.

I also have discovered the world of air drying clothes. We don´t really have a dryer, except for this clothes rack so I came up with the genuis idea of putting it in my room and cranking up the space heater, making the room hot for the clothes to dry faster. But I kinda forgot about that energy is never destroyed it just changes form or whatever and realized that once I got back to my room, the water from my clothes had just evaporated and moved over to my bedding. Long story short...humidty sucks.

I finally broke in the biday...by necessity rather than choice mind you. Still can't tell you if it was a positive or negative experience, but it got the job done. I figure at one point in ever man's life he needs to experience another countries culture so this was my attempt to be open minded.

Went out last night to my favorite Tapa spot and got the hook up as usual. It´s pretty funny cuz I always go with other people and order a drink just like them, but when the tapas come out I usually get like two sandwiches, fries, and a crab popper and they get a plate with a sandwich lol It´s good to know people lol

After that spot I went to met up with some other people, and definitely got lost. I basically went on an unguided tour of the area known as the Albacyin and wound up on top of the valley with a dope view of the alhambra. Lesson being...buy a map

Hustlin...

So the last couple of days have been pretty entertaining. My roommates are pretty legit and even when we go out to just chill, something always pops off. It's like a comedy show everytime we kick it. For example, we were walking to class yesterday and walked by this cement truck and construction zone. All of the sudden we heard a loud crash and got sprayed with something. Somehow the first thing i did was cover my mouth and say, "tell me that's not piss" instead of ducking for cover. We never found out but I'm going on the assumption it was water....

We went out to eat again with the hustler, and this dude formed a team with ol' quatro seis from a few posts back. Now don't get me wrong, both these people are pretty cool on their own. Fun to talk to, chill people, but HUSTLERS lol We went to a chill spot had a good time and when it came time to pay...the lil tag team collected the money as usual. Then after everyone had put in their share, all of the sudden we needed some more coin to cover the bill. No one stepped up cuz we all were covered and eventually one of the members of team hustle stepped up and said they forgot to pay for their salad cough cough. Same buisness went down later on at the tapa bar, these guys are good.

On a lighter note...we saw this dude with foil highlights when we were eating...wtf. I don't think any further comments are needed.

We still don't have hot water, so I today I went on an excursion to find some gas. Apparently it's like a third world country over here and the gas guy just drives around, stops, and honks. Then everyone runs out to the street and gets their fix. My new plan is to pee while I shower so at least I'll be semi warm....

I met a Delt at a bar here, and I'm learning more and more how small of a world it truly is. I went back to La Agurillia or whatever its called to get my favorite tapas and got some pics to show you...basically just imagine a mixture of delicious with amazing and thats the spot. I got a picture with my dude Mikal, it's a little blurry but he's a g and hooks it up everytime we come thru.

Tonight it's suppose to go down big so I'm going to prepare for my first real weekend here!

Kickin it...

So we went out last night and found this amazing Tapas bar, Lia Antigualla. 4€ got me a grilled ham and cheese sandwich, crab popper, french fries, hamburger, and 2 cokes...come ups. I´m going back for dinner tonight lol we explored a little of the city and found some other interesting spots but basically just kicked it. I did see the mini McDonalds whip...I know gas is expensive over here but there´s no way I´m drivin that lol

At one of the bars we stopped at ol´ boy with the beard decided he wanted to order 2 pitchers of sangoria for the crew and then tried to scam everyone for money to pay for it....lesson learned is even across the world their are still hustlers. My landloard is another example. She has no shame in her game, stealing furniture from retaurants and using free posters to decorate the apartment.

Tv is rediculously gross over here. All we have is sonic the hedgehog, National Geographic, and porn. I mean we have 1.800.nasty.ish commericials in the US, but these ain´t just commercials over here. It started with just a girls face on the screen then opened up to a 7 person fiesta...awkward. So now when ever we see a girl whos a freak we just call her a channel 46...or quatro seis for short.

On the numbers note, quatro seis literally means four six, not fourty six. So then my dude ocho cinco is actually rockin eight five, not eighty-five but its still all good. We learned these numbers today so I figured I could get some use out of em. I´m the only one who is taking a 2 week course to begin with so I´m prolly gonna be super behind. Luckily I´m on my Rosetta Stone game and will pick up the slack there.

That´s all for now, gotta grub on some tapas!

School...

So we started school and its...well school. My instructor doesn't speak any English so it's good and bad I guess. The first day we learned the alphabet and country names and today was about asking our names and phone numbers. It figures the US would be the hardest country to pronounce with like estadounidense. Go ahead...give it a shot if you dont know Spanish and tell me its not bs to say. Luckily my homework today is to read over what we did in class...which means no homework/kickin it tonight.

I found my new favorite desert food...they have waffles with white chocolate on top for 2 euro....come ups. The rest of the food is pretty bland. Thai, hamburgers, fries, and most things in the US are all not up to par. But schwarmas, which sound like a disease but taste like Pita Pit on steroids are really good.

In housing news, we've been having problems with our bathroom getting too steamy when we take showers and today I found the solution! Have the gas that heats the water run out on you as your lathering up to shave, it works perfect! Only downside is you feel like its the last scene in Titanic and the apartment is just as cold as the shower.

Hitting Granada 10 club tonight so I should have an interesting update manana! Hasta luego!

Arrival

So what’s good America? I’m here in Spain and loving it…except for the fact that I packed all T shirts and it’s snowing here. Oh and that I can’t speak any Spanish and everyone else can. But other than that it’s legit. So far I’ve learned a couple valuable lessons:

1. Tapas are free with the purchase of a drink (2 euro)…so basically Spain owns Applebee’s Happy Hour
2. Recycled air on a plane is only good until the person next to you farts
3. Cokes are made for elves here (see picture)
4. Cooking indoors with a wooden stove is no bueno when you don’t have a fan to get the smoke out
5. If a Spanish girl has a donk, she will wear very tight clothing. If not she’ll rock the saggy bottom jean look. (Generally true throughout the world)
6. These people smoke like chimneys…expect to smell like a grandma fresh out the casino anytime you go out
7. Spaniards don’t have their kids on leases…but they do put their babies in little bubbles. (As soon as I can take a picture without getting caught I’ll post, but for now just imagine bubble boy but for babies)
8. When your landlord says heat and utilities are included what they really mean is hopefully u can use the space heater without blowing out the electricity
9. Wifi here is pronounced “we-fee”. A pronunciation very similar to “rufee” so Don’t be offended if people offer you some.
10. Irish Pubs are the closest thing to American civilization. Football, English, and hip hop music.

So far I’ve just been hanging out and meeting people so It’s been fun, but I’m starting to plan my travels now. Travel is cheap within Spain but elsewhere can run a good bit of change. I have Vodafone cell service which I believe is a combination of T-mobile and Verizon because the service sucks and the price is ridiculous.

School starts tomorrow and I’m super nervous. I know absolutely nothing so it’s going to be an experience for sure. My ideal plan is to find a Spanish Sugar mama to tutor me and drive me around but chances are looking slim. Anyway, next update will include my chicken exploration so stay tuned!

Airport chillin

So I decided to jump on the Blog bandwagon and give everyone who cares a lil inside snippet at what's going down in Granada town.

Just to let you know, this is going to be a pretty funny blog so don't hope for some serious ish, i put that on facebook!

Here is a my Spanish to-do list so far:

DJ at a club
Use as many Spanish pick up lines as possible
Eat at KFC in Egypt...(Kabduls Fried Chicken)
Kick it at the Roman Coliseum
Visit the Eiffel Tower

Holla atcha boy!